Week 9: Seeking to understand ...

Goddard:  
Charity in marriage
This had to be one of my favorite chapters. First we have to ask ourselves what is charity. If we look it up in the dictionary, the definition it gives us is; the voluntary giving of help, typically in the form of money, to those in need. I would like to expand it even further, I love what Elder Oaks says here:

This is what we have to do in marriage. We must become charity. It sounds odd, but by putting our spouses needs before our own and striving to serve them each day, we will become charity. Our marriage will become charity. We will have a happier home, happier children, and happier lives just by doing these little things everyday. It sounds simple enough, but it is actually very difficult. It is hard to give up oneself wholly, especially if we feel the other is not doing so. It is easy to fall into the trap of resentment and pettiness, but we must always look at our own hearts first. If we strive to make ourselves the best person we can be and focus on serving our spouse, we will be amazed at the changes that come about and how we will receive service and love from them.

Gospel perspective:
This is a wonderful story that explains perfectly what we need to do if we find ourselves struggling in our marriage.
Falling Out of Love ... and Climbing Back In

Goddart:

This chapter really struck me because how often do we "squash" each other's dreams? I will give you an example. My husband is from Mexico and hasn't been home for over 6 years. He misses his mom and would like to visit her before she becomes ill because the years are passing quickly. Unfortunately, we haven't been there because of costs and his job, etc. He is a dreamer, I am not. He often talks about saving $30,000 and staying in Mexico for three months. On the outside, I am telling him how wonderful it sounds and how cool. On the inside, I am telling him how unrealistic it is and how could we ever pull it off. I do this, because I received some great advice from my brother. He said, "Never mock your spouses dreams". He is a psychology major so I am sure he read Gottman also. He reminded me that even though it may never happen, the last thing I want to do is put resentment in his heart because I don't support his dreams.
Here is what Gottman says:

A gospel perspective:
I really enjoyed this talk about what happens when we lose our dreams.
The Pitfalls of Parallel Marriage