Week 7 - Beware of Pride

Goddard:
As I pondered the talks by President Benson and President Uchtdorf, I thought of my own marriage and what brings contention between us. It is pride, when one or both of us starts putting our own needs before the others, we falter. The little things that normally don't bother us do and if we let it go on long enough, we can even begin to doubt why we are in the marriage in the first place. One of the things that struck me the most frightening the reading this week was when Goddard spoke of how we rewrite history. We begin to see the person in a whole different light and forget why we love them and all of the qualities we married them for. It is easy to travel down this road, the natural man will whisper to you that it is not fair, that your spouse doesn't think of you enough, that they should do more for you. It never quite understands how we can find true happiness by letting go of selfishness and pride and putting our spouses needs ahead of our own. The natural man can't fathom how when we do this, something amazing happens, our spouse will begin to do the same for us. They feel love and acceptance which causes them to let go of their own pride and focus on us. 

It reminds me of the pride cycle. If we let pride seep into our marriage, we fall, wickedness could be the fights, the contention, criticism, the silent treatments, etc which causes us to suffer. This causes anguish, it can bring the strongest person down into the depths of despair. Luckily, the Lord has provided a way to repent and if we do so and humble ourselves, our marriage will improve once more. We must learn to live the the Righteousness Cycle. This brings to pass blessings and peace. We can remember our spouses as we remember God. When we focus on their good qualities and put them before ourselves, the Lord will bless us and we will find peace and happiness.

** I had an interesting experience reading chapter 4, "Repentance and Humility", in "Drawing Heaven into our Marriage", by Goddard. Throughout the whole chapter, I am embarrassed to admit that I kept thinking how much my husband needed to read the chapter also. When I read the Postscript, I was truly humbled. It said, "If, as you read this chapter, you found yourself thinking how much your partner needs it, I encourage you to RE-READ the chapter with yourself in mind." I did just that and I was able to see where I needed improvement and how I need to focus on myself and not my husband.

 Gottman:

 I used the meme above because it is amusing and it reminded me of how Gottman spoke about how when he spoke of the concept, let your partner influence you, it focused more on the husband so many began to poke fun at it. It is an example of how the world has a hard time seeing spiritual things. I looked back on my marriage and realized how blessed I was when I read this chapter. My husband and I have always consulted each other on the big decisions and even the small ones.I am grateful he values my opinion as I do his. I feel it has helped us grow closer and for me, has helped me through the tough times in our marriage. 
It has helped us through times of trial also. We have learned to work together so when the tough times come upon us, we are able to overcome them. I would implore all couples to learn to be influenced by your spouse. By doing so, you will not only improve your marriage, but you will learn more of them and make them feel valuable.